


ADULT SWIM

by MorphoFan



Category: The Venture Bros
Genre: Drowning, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Rescue, Swimming Pools, Tickling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-17 22:46:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16983222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorphoFan/pseuds/MorphoFan
Summary: Monarch and Twenty-One are on a mini-vacation at a swank hotel with a huge pool. This is a recycled fic, originally written in 1997 for a different fandom.





	ADULT SWIM

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fuquspace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuquspace/gifts).



Twenty-One followed The Monarch down the cement path toward their hotel's swimming pool. Dr. Mrs. The Monarch was here for a Guild-related conference, all expenses paid, and she had invited them along for a mini vacation. The suite they were put up in was beautiful, and the classy hotel had all the luxuries, including a huge swimming pool. 

While his wife was at the conference, Monarch had suggested to his bodyguard that they check out the pool, so they both changed into their trunks and headed down to the deck. 

Twenty-One moved ahead of Monarch to pull open the heavy iron gate leading to the pool, and held it for the older man.

"Thanks," Monarch said, ducking under Twenty-One's arm and past him into the pool area. The super-villain set his towel down on one of the dozen or so lounge chairs, stripped off the complimentary robe he was wearing over his bathing trunks, and turned to admire the facilities. 

"Not bad, eh Boss?" Twenty-One said with a smile, dumping his own towel and robe on a chair next to Monarch's. The pool was massive, with a slide, stone steps leading up out of the shallow end, and a diving board at the deep end. He moved to the steps leading down into the pool and dipped a toe in.

"Yikes!" He withdrew his toe quickly with a hiss. The water was frigid! He looked into the pool, almost expecting to see ice chunks, before turning to his friend.

"What's wrong?" Monarch asked, "Too cold?" He moved to stand beside Twenty-One and held onto the larger man's arm for balance as he swept his foot through the water. His reaction was similar. "Holy…!" Monarch hopped around as his foot tingled with the cold. He looked uncertainly from the water to Twenty-One. "You're not gonna swim in that, are you?"

Twenty-One laughed. "Do I look like a polar bear to you? Not me, dude. You?"

Monarch shook his head. "No way." He looked around, and moved to the lounge chair where he had dropped his towel. "I'm gonna stick with sunbathing, I think." He eased himself down on the lounge chair, folding his arms behind his head. "Wanna join me?" he asked.

The giggling cluster of young women lounging on the far side of the pool was occupying Twenty-One's mind at the moment, and he didn't reply. Only when Monarch laughed, and smacked him in the leg, did the younger man manage to tear his eyes from the ladies.

"What? Oh, yeah," Twenty-One thought about it for a moment. "Yeah," he repeated, "That'd be good." He reclined on his own chair, closing his eyes as the warm sun caressed his body. "Hope you put on sunblock, boss, you burn like a mofo."

"Mm-hm." Monarch was just getting relaxed, drifting off to sleep, when Twenty-One's voice caught his attention.

"You know, dude, I couldn't help but notice the bills on the desk in the office. The water bill is about three times what it was last month." He looked over at his boss. "Do you need money?" When there was no response, the big man reached over and poked him in the shoulder. "Monarch?"

Monarch sighed, and gave an elegant little shrug. "The bill's gonna be higher from now on," he murmured, half-asleep. "Because of that new, super-sized water heater Dr. My Wife made us get. But I'm hoping to bring in a little more money soon... selling some old knick-knacks and books that belonged to my parents." 

"Aww, don't do that," Gary said, furrowing his brow, "You haven't got much left of your folks, do you really want to part with anything else?"

"Can't be helped," Monarch replied, "Now that the trust fund is gone, until I start bringing in cash via arching, we have to make do. I can't ask you for money, dude, I barely pay you as it is." The skinny super-villain turned onto his belly, and went quiet.

The two men were silent for a long while. Twenty-One lay back down and tried to relax, but the issue of the bill was rattling around in his brain. After a few minutes, he sat up again.

"I'm really not comfortable with you selling your things to pay the bills, boss."

The older man sighed again, this time more annoyed. He flipped back over and sat up. After collecting his thoughts, he looked up, and spoke.

"Twenty-One... You weren't with me when I first started out arching, before the Fitzcarraldo Trust came out of escrow. Things were super tight at the beginning, lots of budgeting, lots of Ramen, I even sold my plasma a couple times so I could afford to eat…."

"Oh geez," the henchman said, "I'm sorry, man."

"What I mean," Monarch went on, "Is that this won't be the first time I've had to downsize a bit to make ends meet. I wish you wouldn't go on about it. You're embarrassing me." The older man ran a hand uneasily through his red hair, and looked away across the pool.

"Sorry," Gary began carefully, "But you know, I still have a pretty extensive stash of Star Wars and Sci-Fi collectibles. It should fetch a few hundred dollars, at least." He raised a hand as Monarch started to protest. "Look, just let me help you out with the bills, alright? You're my friend. Besides, I'm twice your size, so I use twice as much water showering."

The super-villain chuckled softly at that, and Twenty-One grinned, relieved. "So do we have an agreement?" he asked.

Monarch looked up and studied Twenty-One's face for a long moment, chewing on his cheek, thinking. He looked out at the pool again, and a thoughtful little smile spread across his face. He swung his legs around the side of the lounge chair and stood up, putting his hands on his hips.

"Alright," he began, raising a finger, "We'll settle this with a little competition." He curled the finger toward himself, beckoning Twenty-One to follow him as he sauntered over to the edge of the pool, still devoid of swimmers. When the henchman man came to stand at his side, Monarch pointed at the narrow strip of white tile that framed the pool.

"Here's the deal," Monarch continued, "We start at the shallow end of the pool, and balance on that white line. Whoever gets all the way around to that filter at the deep end first without falling in wins, OK?" Monarch smiled, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he finished the challenge.

Twenty-One studied the narrow edge of the pool, then nodded with a smirk. "You're on," he said.

They moved to the edge of the pool and stood back to back. Monarch spoke over his shoulder to Twenty-One.

"Now if I win, I sell my stuff to pay the bill. If you win, I'll let you sell yours. Agreed?" Monarch asked.

"Agreed," the henchman answered. "Prepare to face defeat, my friend."

The race was on. Twenty-One started around the pool in one direction, Monarch in the other. Right from the start, it was a close race. With his longer legs, Monarch could cover more distance, but Gary made up for it with his Karate sense of balance. 

As they started down the long sides of the pool, Twenty-One glanced over to check Monarch's progress, and very nearly fell in. He circled his arms desperately for a few seconds before regaining balance and moving on. He grinned as he heard Monarch laughing at him.

"Smooth, Twenty-One, you look like a Weeble," Monarch called, snickering.

Twenty-One smirked, and replied, "Let's not get personal, now, Human Bendy Straw." Monarch stuck his tongue out at him, and Gary blushed as he heard the beautiful sound of female giggling. Apparently the other patrons of the pool were enjoying their antics.

He carefully navigated the last corner of the pool, and moved quickly along the deep end toward the filter that marked the end of the race. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Monarch doing the same. Twenty-One tried to increase his pace, and lunged out with his left foot just as Monarch followed suit. Both men's toes touched the filter at the same time.

Twenty-One looked down at his and Monarch's feet sharing the filter, then raised his head as the older man started to laugh.

"So, it's a tie then?" Monarch asked, chuckling.

Twenty-One smiled an evil smile. "Not for long!" he growled, lunging at him.

Monarch yelped and tried to scurry out of Twenty-One's reach, but the big man snagged him around the waist with both arms and picked him up, turning toward the pool.

"Wait, no, DON'T...!" Was all Monarch had time to shout before he was launched into the deep end of the pool. The rest of the cry was cut off as the cold water closed over his head.

"I win!" Twenty-One sang, turning and walking away to go get some sun. Still chuckling, he listened for the anticipated spluttering stream of profanity from Monarch, and was curious when it didn't happen. Puzzled, he turned, and the remains of his laughter died in his throat.

Monarch was still submerged, struggling just under the surface of the water. As Twenty-One stared, the older man's head broke the surface for a moment. The dark eyes were wide with fear, and Twenty-One's heart slammed into his throat as a terrified, water-choked cry reached his ears.

"Dude, help!" Monarch's arms slapped ineffectually at the water as he fought to keep his head above the surface. "I can't swim! HELP!" He went under again.

Gary sprinted to the edge of the pool, mentally chastising himself. What in the hell was he thinking, chucking Monarch into the pool? Water wasn't something to mess around with, especially when you weren't sure about a person's swimming abilities! The Boy Scouts were adamant about water safety.

"Twenty-One! Help me!" Monarch managed to gasp as he surfaced again for a moment.

The henchman dove in, swam to Monarch's side in three strong strokes, and wrapped his arm around his friend's waist just as he went under again. He hauled the older man to the surface and held him up. Monarch gasped for air, coughing up water, still struggling to stay afloat.

"I gotcha, boss," Twenty-One said softly, tightening his arm around Monarch's middle, "Just relax..." He turned onto his back, pulling the super-villain up to lay against his chest, and began a one-armed backstroke toward the shallow end of the pool.

Monarch continued to cough and splutter as his best friend towed him to safety. He felt his feet brush the concrete bottom of the pool, and a moment later, Twenty-One stood and scooped him up in his arms with one smooth motion.

Gary carried him across the shallow end, then moved quickly up the concrete steps leading out of the pool. The super-villain clung to him, coughing and gasping against Twenty-One's shoulder as he recovered. The burly henchman nodded gratefully as one of the concerned hotel guests dragged a lounge chair over to them.

"Easy," he said, reassuringly, to his shivering burden, "You're all right." He gently laid Monarch down on the lounge and knelt beside him, taking his wet face in his large hands. He carefully studied the older man's dark eyes for a moment, then lifted one bony wrist and checked the pulse. The beat was strong and steady, and he sighed in relief; Monarch would be fine.

"Thanks, big guy," Monarch said softly, breathing hard, teeth chattering. He managed a weak smile, and reached up to squeeze Twenty-One's shoulder.

"Oh my God, dude...," Twenty-One began, "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." He reached for his towel and quickly draped it over his friend's body. He felt awful; Monarch could have drowned. "Are you OK? How could I have been so stupid?" The henchman's face was a study in remorse.

Monarch took a deep breath and closed his eyes, smiling as he felt his bodyguard's warm palm on his brow. Waving a slender hand in a dismissive gesture, he shook his head.

"No no, it's OK," he said softly, "I'm all right." He opened his eyes to study the water running off Twenty-One's stout body in rivulets. He grinned as he added, "Guess it's a tie, huh? We both pay the water bill!"

Twenty-One was finally able to laugh then, feeling his guilt beginning to disperse. "Right," he replied, reaching to tousle the sopping, dark red hair. He stood up and retrieved his boss's towel, and used it to dry his own shivering body. He'd been so focused on saving Monarch that he'd forgotten how very cold the water was. When he'd finished, he tossed the towel aside, and pulled a chair up to sit at Monarch's side. The older man looked fine now, and Twenty-One could hear that his breathing was back to normal.

"Er... dude," Gary said, furrowing his brow as a memory gnawed at his brain. "I could've sworn you told me...," his face brightened, "Yeah!"

"What?" Monarch asked, fighting down a grin.

Twenty-One looked confused. "When we went on that fishing trip a couple of years back, remember? The boat? When the Captain told you that life vests were mandatory?"

Monarch nodded, grin widening.

"Well," Twenty-One continued, "You told the Captain you didn't need one because you were a great swimmer, I remember you saying it!" He fixed Monarch with a curious look as the older man suddenly smiled a toothy smile of pure evil. 

The super-villain reached up and hit the side of his own head, as if trying to knock sense into himself.

"Oh, wait, " Monarch said, still smiling, "That's right..., I CAN swim!" He watched Twenty-One's face change as reality sunk in.

"You were faking?" the henchman asked in disbelief.

"Yep!" Monarch chirped cheerfully, "I took a couple of drama courses in college." He sighed smugly and folded his arms behind his head. "Nice to be able to stretch my theatrical legs again."

Gary stared at him. "You tricked me?" he said, sounding hurt.

Monarch got defensive now. "Hey, YOU started it! You threw me in, you dingus!" He snickered as Twenty-One gave him a dirty look. "What did you expect me to do? Just take it?"

Twenty-One stood, shaking his head and turning away. "I can't believe you did that, boss," he said. Then he turned back and said, louder, "I can't believe you would frighten me half to death, just to win a stupid contest." His disappointment in his best friend's actions was clearly written on his expressive face.

"Worked, dinnit?" Monarch was still grinning, "Gotcha into the pool, dinnit?" He tossed the towel aside, and turned onto his belly to let his back tan. "Besides," he added, " I didn't win, remember? It was a tie. We both got wet." He laid his head on his arms and closed his eyes.

Twenty-One huffed, and sat down at the foot of Monarch's lounge, his back to the older man. When he spoke, his voice was soft, almost inaudible.

"I thought I knew you, dude," he began, "I've always trusted you, and now you do this, and...," his voice trailed off.

Monarch looked back over his shoulder at Gary, becoming uncomfortable with the big man's sober state. He'd honestly thought Twenty-One would've found his prank funny, but it seemed his henchman really was upset by the ruse.

"Hey," Monarch began uneasily, "I'm sorry. I never meant to...,"

"Sorry isn't enough," Twenty-One interjected sharply, still refusing to look at Monarch. He stood up, as if preparing to leave.

Monarch turned onto his back now, facing Twenty-One. His mouth opened and shut a few times as he tried to think of something to say. In the end, he settled for, "It's not?"

"Oh, no," Twenty-One said, turning to face the super-villain again. "Sorry's for when you leave your bath towel on the floor, or when you drink all the milk and don't buy more. But this...," He suddenly grinned down at Monarch, "This calls for revenge."

Monarch jumped as the larger man suddenly grabbed his feet and tried to pull him off the chair. Instinctively, he grabbed the arms of the chair and held on. He laughed a little as Twenty-One continued to pull at him, dragging the chair a few inches in the process.

"Yeah, we'll see who gets wet this time," Twenty-One muttered, tugging at Monarch's legs, trying to get him off the chair. The chair scraped another half-foot across the cement. "C'mon 'boss, take it like a man," he growled, beginning to laugh.

"Hey, now," Monarch chuckled, "Don't throw the chair in, you'll get us kicked out." He grinned, all snooty and smug, as Twenty-One let go of his legs to scowl. 

The younger man moved threateningly forward, and the super-villain tightened his grip on the arms of the chair. He snickered as Twenty-One latched onto his left wrist and tried to pry his fingers from the chair. After a brief struggle, Monarch's left hand was detached and Gary went to work on the right.

Twenty-One gave a short laugh of triumph as he freed Monarch's left hand from its iron grip on the lounge. But, as soon as he moved to Monarch's right hand, the super-villain jerked his left hand out of his grip and reattached it to the chair. This game went on for a few moments, both of them laughing, until Twenty-One tried a new attack.

"Give it up, dude," Monarch said as he grabbed the chair with both hands again. "You can't possibly... ACK!" He yelped as Twenty-One's fingers suddenly dug into his sides. Squealing and giggling hysterically, the super-villain tried to twist away without letting go of the chair, to no avail. He let go with one hand to try and push away his attacker's hands, shrieking and writhing. 

Now the evil fingers were scuttling back and forth across his belly. Monarch uttered a strangled curse word and flopped back against the chair, breathless and helpless with laughter, still batting feebly at the tickling fingers with his free hand.

Twenty-One continued without mercy, watching his victim's hands closely, waiting for the right moment. He was already dodging Monarch's left hand as it pushed in vain against his fingers. He kept tickling until both his victim's hands released the chair to fight him off. Then he grabbed both Monarch's tiny wrists in one hand and stood up, pulling the slim man up with him and draping him over his shoulder in one swift motion.

Monarch kicked as Twenty-One picked him up and walked back over to the pool's edge. "Help!" he shouted, to the amusement of the female patrons of the pool, "Put me down!" he wailed, still laughing.

Twenty-One chuckled as he carried his struggling burden toward the pool. He stood at the edge of the deep end for a moment, speaking over his shoulder to his helpless passenger.

"Now just remember, boss," he said, "You asked for this!" With that, he heaved forward, intending to dump Monarch back into the water. What he didn't expect was for Monarch to suddenly grab the waistband of his trunks and yank upward.

"Yeow!" Twenty-One yelped, as he found his suit riding rather high all of a sudden. Monarch's actions threw him off-balance.

OH SH...!" Was as far as Twenty-One got as he tumbled headfirst into the water, Monarch still slung over his shoulder. The henchman surfaced, coughing, to see Monarch swimming like mad for the far end of the pool. He gave chase, swimming hard after the super-villain.

"It's still a tie!" Monarch sang, as he pulled himself out of the pool. He turned to gloat at Twenty-One.

"OH, are you gonna get it!" Twenty-One roared as he neared the side of the pool. Monarch had taken off running around the side to get away from him. The henchman was about to haul himself up out of the water, when he realized things felt... odd. At almost the same time, Monarch called out from behind him.

"Did you lose something, dude?" Monarch was laughing so hard he could barely get the words out, as he reached into the water to grab something floating. 

Twenty-One looked down, and discovered he was skinny-dipping. He whirled around in the water to glare at Monarch, then caught sight of the young women standing alongside the tall man, squealing with laughter and pointing. Quickly, he ducked down into the water up to his chin, covering his naughty bits with both hands, eliciting more giggles from the women.

Monarch smirked at Twenty-One, twirling the remains of the younger man's bathing trunks around on his index finger. The elastic waistband had broken when he gave Twenty-One the wedgie. The fact that the trunks had slipped off when Gary hit the water was just a bonus. Monarch calmly slung the ruined bathing suit over his shoulder, and turned to exit through the gate.

"See you later, dude!" he called over his shoulder as he exited the pool area. 

"MONARCH!"

THE END

http://ko-fi.com/morphofan


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